I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
