I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
