Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
