He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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