What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He has the fingertips of a God
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
