What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think weed is turning my hair brown
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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