Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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