Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think my moral compass just broke
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
