kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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