there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
