Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
