i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
