There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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