I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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