By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
