Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
