Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
