Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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