Moan for me like Helen Keller
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
