Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
