found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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