I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
