used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
