you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
