He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
