UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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