My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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