we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
