I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
