I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
