did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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