Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
