I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
