It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
