So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i need some magic done to my vagina
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize