I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
