my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
