Someone shit on the floor
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
