i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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