a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
