so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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