so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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