Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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