So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
