Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
