Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
