I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
