This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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