This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
