so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
