Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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