found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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