.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
