Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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