The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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