Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
