where am i from again
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize