it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize