What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
